I've come across some strange sights whilst walking places in my time, but Rugby has recently produced something very odd indeed.
A few weeks back, I was on my way home from my daily toil, when I came across this strange fellow. As I was walking through town, I saw a man, in a dressing gown with a cooler box.
The cooler box was on the floor, and the man was pushing it forward. It must have been heavy as he was moving at speeds of 3! Shambling along with the box for a few minutes then stopping and resting.
I watched him for about fifteen minutes, before I set back on my long journey home. I thought to myself that this strange man must have some form of mental health issue or was doing some invisible theatre, but I thought no more of it afterwards as this kind of stuff happens to me a lot.
However, the following week, I was nearing my homestead, when what should I see in front of me?! The Shuffler! This time shuffling past peoples houses.
I crossed the street as I wasn't sure if he would lash out at passersby, and watched as he pushed the cooler till he tired out, then he sat on it. The creepiest thing about this however was he was sitting on the cooler facing some one's house, and would have been able to see straight through their front window.
I went home and told my long suffering lady wife all about this strange man, but she dismissed it as here say! The fool!
So, this brings me to my last sighting... yesterday, he was waiting for a bus, sitting on his cooler.
I wondered how he'd get the cooler on the bus, as it seemed so heavy that he wouldn't be able to lift it. I mused with the prospect of asking him what was in the cooler, but then I thought, what if what's in the cooler is the last person who asked him what's in the cooler? So I left it alone.
I've asked a few people if they've spotted The Shuffler, but so far, I'm the only person I'm aware of who's seen this odd fellow... I'm beginning to think maybe he's in my head, a sign that my already fragile mind is imploding, or maybe it's me from the future!? That's his time machine he's pushing around??
I intend to investigate further, hopefully finding out that he's just a sorry soul who has mental health issues as oppose to a future version of myself, or a serial killer. If I can snap him on my camera, I'll put up a picture!
Stay tuned for more info :)
Wednesday, 7 July 2010
Tuesday, 6 July 2010
my T4 on da bee-atch
Well, anyone who knows me (who isn't imaginary) will know my music taste is a little old fashioned... I like cheese and classic rock. So imagine how out of place I was expecting to feel at T4 on the beach when I went down on Sunday?
It was a good and a bad day at the same time, I enjoyed myself, yet had moments of "wtf".
There were thousands at T4, and we all had to queue on the beach to be let in. When we were halfway to the entrance and surrounded by excitable teenagers, one of them decided that it was all to much and fainted, hitting her head on the way down. So being the respectable gentleman that I am, I decided to help out and try and signal a first aider... however, there were none to be seen. I turned round to the throng of children behind me and shouted out "Can someone shout for first aid" hoping to get some form of Chinese whispers that would bring a first aider. However they just stared blankly at my feeble attempt to assert myself.
So it was up to Adamicus the 3rd to save the day, using my expert ability of getting through crowds, I barged my way through the masses until I was free of the crowd. Then I ran to the only man I could see who had a walkie talkie to get him to get help. The man, who was standing on a wall filming the throngs of teens looked at me distastefully when I told him someone had fainted and then half heatedly called through the walkie talkie to some first aiders to come help, then he went back to filming the kids... he might have actually been a paedophile on 2nd thoughts.
Anyway, I was able to get back to the girl, but by that time she was already dead. OK, she wasn't but that would have been a better anecdote.
The festival had N-Dubz, Professor Green and Jedward... so you can imagine my joy at the prospect of seeing them perform. However, I did get to see Louie Spence, who was amusing as always, then saw The Hoosiers who's old stuff was good, but there new clubbing mixes were just bad. The musical highlight for me was Plan B, who I've enjoyed for a while now and proves some chavs can sing! But seriously, a great live performance even if he did get PWNED in Adulthood.
The weirdest moment for me was when I went to use the toilets. There was a large amount of porta-loo's about, and in the middle of a square of them were make-shift urinals. So rather than being enclosed in an AIDS ridden Tardis, I decided to frequent the outdoor urinal. It would have been okay, but halfway through my useage, I happened to look up and made eye contact with a couple who were watching me... creeped me right out.
The way out of the festival was BULL SHIT AND MATCH! Basically, you park on the beach when you get there, and have helpful attendants showing you where to park... but when T4 is over, it is a cluster fuck to get off the beach before the tide comes in. There were about 15 lines of cars trying to get out of one tiny exit, with no help. It took us probably 2 hours to get off the beach, before even attempting the journey back.
The saddest sight I have ever seen was on the way home, where I noticed a young teens car had broken down, and as we drove past, he stood there with puppy dog eyes holding a piece of paper that read "Mechanic ?"
I did the only decent thing and murdered him before the wolves got him. It was the perfect end to a so/so day.
It was a good and a bad day at the same time, I enjoyed myself, yet had moments of "wtf".
There were thousands at T4, and we all had to queue on the beach to be let in. When we were halfway to the entrance and surrounded by excitable teenagers, one of them decided that it was all to much and fainted, hitting her head on the way down. So being the respectable gentleman that I am, I decided to help out and try and signal a first aider... however, there were none to be seen. I turned round to the throng of children behind me and shouted out "Can someone shout for first aid" hoping to get some form of Chinese whispers that would bring a first aider. However they just stared blankly at my feeble attempt to assert myself.
So it was up to Adamicus the 3rd to save the day, using my expert ability of getting through crowds, I barged my way through the masses until I was free of the crowd. Then I ran to the only man I could see who had a walkie talkie to get him to get help. The man, who was standing on a wall filming the throngs of teens looked at me distastefully when I told him someone had fainted and then half heatedly called through the walkie talkie to some first aiders to come help, then he went back to filming the kids... he might have actually been a paedophile on 2nd thoughts.
Anyway, I was able to get back to the girl, but by that time she was already dead. OK, she wasn't but that would have been a better anecdote.
The festival had N-Dubz, Professor Green and Jedward... so you can imagine my joy at the prospect of seeing them perform. However, I did get to see Louie Spence, who was amusing as always, then saw The Hoosiers who's old stuff was good, but there new clubbing mixes were just bad. The musical highlight for me was Plan B, who I've enjoyed for a while now and proves some chavs can sing! But seriously, a great live performance even if he did get PWNED in Adulthood.
The weirdest moment for me was when I went to use the toilets. There was a large amount of porta-loo's about, and in the middle of a square of them were make-shift urinals. So rather than being enclosed in an AIDS ridden Tardis, I decided to frequent the outdoor urinal. It would have been okay, but halfway through my useage, I happened to look up and made eye contact with a couple who were watching me... creeped me right out.
The way out of the festival was BULL SHIT AND MATCH! Basically, you park on the beach when you get there, and have helpful attendants showing you where to park... but when T4 is over, it is a cluster fuck to get off the beach before the tide comes in. There were about 15 lines of cars trying to get out of one tiny exit, with no help. It took us probably 2 hours to get off the beach, before even attempting the journey back.
The saddest sight I have ever seen was on the way home, where I noticed a young teens car had broken down, and as we drove past, he stood there with puppy dog eyes holding a piece of paper that read "Mechanic ?"
I did the only decent thing and murdered him before the wolves got him. It was the perfect end to a so/so day.
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Karate Kid
I've got love for you if you were born in the 80's is something that Pineapple headgear man Calvin Harris would say to you. Personally, I agree.
If you were a kid being raised in the 80's not only did you get the best kids shows, music and TV series, but you got the best films too.
Which brings me round to the subject of this particular ramblingation.
My long suffering lady wife Louise, (who doesn't read these ramblings by the way, so I could write anything about her without her knowing, but know my life isn't worth living if she found out) was born in the late 80's so missed out on a lot of the stuff that made my childhood bearable.
I don't mind so much that she doesn't get certain references I get, as I can re-watch the classics (which sometimes aren't as good as I remember them) with her and re-live my childhood, complete with cola flavoured chewits and ghostbuster toys.
So I picked up Karate Kid from those rent boys known as Love Film! I was actually amazed at how well the film stood the test of time. Mr. Miyagi is as Yoda like as I remember him and Daniel-Son is the perfect model of teenage Angst.
To my horror then, as I loved that film so much, I learnt that the powers that be had decided to make a remake. Now, I'm all for remakes, if the original was made in the 50's or was an idea not fully realised due to the technology of the time or the directors lack of vision, but for me Karate Kid is still a great movie with some surprisingly touching moments (and not in a creepy way)
So Hollywood... why remake it!?
CHA-CHING! That's why. Sponduli, pesetas, yen.
Accident prone Jackie Chan, who is a crazy bastard but entertaining none the less takes on the role of Mr. Miyagi... except his name is Mr. Han this time round. Good job too, as there truly is only one Mr. Miyagi... and he's dead.
Daniel Russo is replaced with Dre, who's played by Will Smith's spawn. I thought the kid was great in The Pursuit Of Happiness, but the trailer for this looked really really bad. It doesn't help that he's 11 in this movie as oppose to Daniel being about 16.
But my main point of contention dear reader is the title itself. Jackie Chan, is a Kung Fu master, not a Karate Guru. So in this film, he teaches Dre, Kung Fu, not Karate...
SO WHY... OH WHY!?!? Is this film called Karate Kid?! I know WHY, but surely it should be called Kung Fu Kid?
I'll probably rent this out, just to see how badly/goodly they do, and will fill you in. If there's no Crane in this, I'm going on a spree.
Waxing off for now, Ciao!
Thursday, 10 June 2010
Banana Men From Feline V : Directors Cut & Other Filums
Good morning, or as they say in wales "Khhhheee Khaaaa"
Last night I spent half an evening re-editing "Banana Men from Feline V" with Kristofus and John John the Potters Son, and have got to say that although it's lost a bit of the B-Movie feel to it, it's actually got some interesting new additions and some footage that we didn't use has been included.
It's great going back over this film as the first time around, I was left to it and edited the whole thing together myself, usually Kristofus sits in and helps out but on that instance he was going through a weird phase, where he believed anything he wanted to happen would happen if he thought about it hard enough. So he wasted an evening trying to materialize popcorn.
The reason I'm going over this is to try and get it polished enough to send off to a film festival. I'm also sitting down at some point and going over Magic Bean Man, editing both parts into one and lighting up some of the darker scenes now that I have a better knowledge of the package (careful) I'm using.
Also in the pipeline is a re-make of Edward Lobe, which is being scripted this time round by myself and Alexis, and of course our main project this year The Dark Spirit, has been moved back till October so that we can have more time to prepare and get a cast that doesn't keep dropping out like a BT Internet signal.
On another note, it's my birthday this time next week... maybe I'll develop superpowers on my 27th birthday? I live in hope.
Last night I spent half an evening re-editing "Banana Men from Feline V" with Kristofus and John John the Potters Son, and have got to say that although it's lost a bit of the B-Movie feel to it, it's actually got some interesting new additions and some footage that we didn't use has been included.
It's great going back over this film as the first time around, I was left to it and edited the whole thing together myself, usually Kristofus sits in and helps out but on that instance he was going through a weird phase, where he believed anything he wanted to happen would happen if he thought about it hard enough. So he wasted an evening trying to materialize popcorn.
The reason I'm going over this is to try and get it polished enough to send off to a film festival. I'm also sitting down at some point and going over Magic Bean Man, editing both parts into one and lighting up some of the darker scenes now that I have a better knowledge of the package (careful) I'm using.
Also in the pipeline is a re-make of Edward Lobe, which is being scripted this time round by myself and Alexis, and of course our main project this year The Dark Spirit, has been moved back till October so that we can have more time to prepare and get a cast that doesn't keep dropping out like a BT Internet signal.
On another note, it's my birthday this time next week... maybe I'll develop superpowers on my 27th birthday? I live in hope.
Wednesday, 9 June 2010
The Life and Times of Adamicus the 3rd
Greetings fellow randoms, I hope that you're enjoying the shit crazy weather we're having right now. I know I am.
Thunderstorms are great aren't they? I mean, now they are, in 2010, but back in the cavemen days it must have been a pretty scary experience... also Edward Scissorhands probably doesn't relish thunderstorms... he must be a pretty good conductor (for electricity, not for a concert)
I've found myself becoming more and more of a recluse on this blog, thanks partly to some stellar xbox 360 games recently and the fact the only computer I can use to type on, is at work. And usually I'm working when I'm a... sorry... I couldn't lie to you faithless readers. We all know I do some work, but the kinda work that I get paid to do isn't the work I'd be doing. I tend to write screenplays, or work an idea out like you do with a particularly hard poo using a pencil.
I do intend to keep you updated about certain thoughts and events that are happening at present or in my future(present at time of writing) and random stories and so forth. But at the moment I'm finding hard to get time to do it, what with a bigger workload, the fact that I now have to wrestle alligators on my lunch break, and my evenings are taken up with xbox 360 and fighting crime.
Greece, by the way, should have won the Eurovision song contest with their amazing "Opa!" song. I mean, that was one catchy tune and better than the Germanic entry by a long shot. You'd think people would remember World War II and not vote for Germany at all... ah well.
Next year, I may compose an entry to Eurovision. I reckon we'd win. :D
Ok, well, I've gotta go check my pulse as I seem to have stopped breathing. Ciao for Niao!
Thunderstorms are great aren't they? I mean, now they are, in 2010, but back in the cavemen days it must have been a pretty scary experience... also Edward Scissorhands probably doesn't relish thunderstorms... he must be a pretty good conductor (for electricity, not for a concert)
I've found myself becoming more and more of a recluse on this blog, thanks partly to some stellar xbox 360 games recently and the fact the only computer I can use to type on, is at work. And usually I'm working when I'm a... sorry... I couldn't lie to you faithless readers. We all know I do some work, but the kinda work that I get paid to do isn't the work I'd be doing. I tend to write screenplays, or work an idea out like you do with a particularly hard poo using a pencil.
I do intend to keep you updated about certain thoughts and events that are happening at present or in my future(present at time of writing) and random stories and so forth. But at the moment I'm finding hard to get time to do it, what with a bigger workload, the fact that I now have to wrestle alligators on my lunch break, and my evenings are taken up with xbox 360 and fighting crime.
Greece, by the way, should have won the Eurovision song contest with their amazing "Opa!" song. I mean, that was one catchy tune and better than the Germanic entry by a long shot. You'd think people would remember World War II and not vote for Germany at all... ah well.
Next year, I may compose an entry to Eurovision. I reckon we'd win. :D
Ok, well, I've gotta go check my pulse as I seem to have stopped breathing. Ciao for Niao!
Friday, 14 May 2010
The Adventures of Cup the Duck - Part 1
The Adventures of Cup the Duck
Cup the duck, was a duck called Cup. He lived on Willow Tree farm on the outskirts of Daventry, an insignificant blight on an already overcrowded map that makes up the midlands.
Cup loved to spend his days swimming in the pond, and playing with his friends Pizza the Pig, Watch the cow and Keys the chicken.
One sunny day, Cup the duck noticed that Farmer Candle seemed a little poorly, so he waddled over to see what was wrong.
“What’s up?” asked Cup the Duck
Farmer Candle looked down at his faithful duck
“Hello Cup” he said “I’m not feeling too well I’m afraid. It’s the worst possible time as well, what with the new fiscal year starting, and I’m already behind with the rent. But there’s always this years crop to think about…”
What an unusual conversation thought Cup as he waddled away. He decided he’d talk to Pizza the Pig and see what she thought.
“Hello Pizza, I was just speaking to Farmer Candle and he…”
Pizza was dead.
Stay tuned for the next thrilling chapter in The Adventures of Cup the Duck!!!
Cup the duck, was a duck called Cup. He lived on Willow Tree farm on the outskirts of Daventry, an insignificant blight on an already overcrowded map that makes up the midlands.
Cup loved to spend his days swimming in the pond, and playing with his friends Pizza the Pig, Watch the cow and Keys the chicken.
One sunny day, Cup the duck noticed that Farmer Candle seemed a little poorly, so he waddled over to see what was wrong.
“What’s up?” asked Cup the Duck
Farmer Candle looked down at his faithful duck
“Hello Cup” he said “I’m not feeling too well I’m afraid. It’s the worst possible time as well, what with the new fiscal year starting, and I’m already behind with the rent. But there’s always this years crop to think about…”
What an unusual conversation thought Cup as he waddled away. He decided he’d talk to Pizza the Pig and see what she thought.
“Hello Pizza, I was just speaking to Farmer Candle and he…”
Pizza was dead.
Stay tuned for the next thrilling chapter in The Adventures of Cup the Duck!!!
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Half Arsed Review : The Cradle Will Fall AKA Baby Blues
Okay, I've seen some pretty sick movies in my time, but this film, takes the biscuit, gets a bunch of it's mates round gets them to cum all over it, before force feeding you it whilst it murders your parents.
Let's get on with this horrendous piece of cinema/sickness.
I put this film on my Lovefilm rental list as it sounded like a good horror/thriller...
"With her husband gone and the stress of family life rising, Mom suffers a psychotic break due to postpartum depression that compels her to exterminate her four children, aged between 10 and 3 months.
Now hope for the family's survival rests on the shoulder of eldest son Jimmy, surrogate man of the house. Using his wits and intricate knowledge of the farm, Jimmy must try to protect his siblings while fending off the woman he has always known and loved as his mother. Thus, it comes down to the most epic of battles, Mother vs. Son, in the most horrific of scenarios. "
Okay, so from that I kinda figured it was a cross between Home Alone and Halloween, and in a good non-sickening way, right?
I mean, it makes it sound like the mum tries at various points to kill her children, but her cunning son Jimmy is one step ahead of her? Right?
Wrong.
Fifteen minutes in... you're staring at a dead baby.
It's not hidden like most baby deaths in film, this baby is lying motionless on a bed as it dawns on the son Jimmy that his mum has just murdered his baby brother.
He confronts her, gets knocked out, wakes up to find her trying to drown his kid sister as she's "Evil", he stops her by hitting her with a hand mirror, and tells his younger brother to get on his bike and go get help.
Five minutes later, that same young brother is outside the house next to his bike, with his crazed mother telling him to get inside the house and his older brother shouting that she's sick and he has to get help... one minute later and that young boy is stabbed to death over the porch by his mother, as the girl looks on and wets herself.
I wanted to turn the film off at this point, but it was one of those instances where you were just too horrified to move.
So mum chases the other two kids through a field of corn, in a combine harvester of all things, before they loose her and end up in a barn. The young girl's leg isn't great so she can't climb onto the 2ND level with the brother and instead hides in the hay.
Three minutes on, she's been killed by her mother.
By the end of the film, she has killed her baby, her youngest son, her daughter, a pig, a dog, a few chickens and a stoned neighbour... but all is not lost as Jimmy manages to contact his dad via a radio (he's a truck driver) and blows the house up.
Cut to some random time later and the boy is in some kind of clinic, recovering from the vast injuries and psychological trauma he had gained from his run in with mum. Only for his dad to come in and tell him that his mum is pregnant (the boys, not the dads) and that the doctors have explained that none of it was the mum's fault as she was mentally ill, so he wants the mum to come and live with them again as she's pregnant with another one of his children.
So not only does this film have some of the sickest imagery I've ever seen in a movie, but it also has the most ridiculous ending I've seen in a film for a long time.
I mean, in this weird bizarro world, if you've killed your children, a man, and several animals, it's quite likely that if it was caused by a mental illness that you'll be released back into society as long as you've got some medication.
At that point, I shouted "Bull shit" at the television due to my complete disbelief at the stupidity of the ending.
So, a sick movie with a pathetic ending, the only saving grace is the acting of the children in it, but I wouldn't expect to see them in anything else soon as they will need to spend the next forty years in therapy.
Do not see this movie, it's horrendous and upsetting.
Let's get on with this horrendous piece of cinema/sickness.
I put this film on my Lovefilm rental list as it sounded like a good horror/thriller...
"With her husband gone and the stress of family life rising, Mom suffers a psychotic break due to postpartum depression that compels her to exterminate her four children, aged between 10 and 3 months.
Now hope for the family's survival rests on the shoulder of eldest son Jimmy, surrogate man of the house. Using his wits and intricate knowledge of the farm, Jimmy must try to protect his siblings while fending off the woman he has always known and loved as his mother. Thus, it comes down to the most epic of battles, Mother vs. Son, in the most horrific of scenarios. "
Okay, so from that I kinda figured it was a cross between Home Alone and Halloween, and in a good non-sickening way, right?
I mean, it makes it sound like the mum tries at various points to kill her children, but her cunning son Jimmy is one step ahead of her? Right?
Wrong.
Fifteen minutes in... you're staring at a dead baby.
It's not hidden like most baby deaths in film, this baby is lying motionless on a bed as it dawns on the son Jimmy that his mum has just murdered his baby brother.
He confronts her, gets knocked out, wakes up to find her trying to drown his kid sister as she's "Evil", he stops her by hitting her with a hand mirror, and tells his younger brother to get on his bike and go get help.
Five minutes later, that same young brother is outside the house next to his bike, with his crazed mother telling him to get inside the house and his older brother shouting that she's sick and he has to get help... one minute later and that young boy is stabbed to death over the porch by his mother, as the girl looks on and wets herself.
I wanted to turn the film off at this point, but it was one of those instances where you were just too horrified to move.
So mum chases the other two kids through a field of corn, in a combine harvester of all things, before they loose her and end up in a barn. The young girl's leg isn't great so she can't climb onto the 2ND level with the brother and instead hides in the hay.
Three minutes on, she's been killed by her mother.
By the end of the film, she has killed her baby, her youngest son, her daughter, a pig, a dog, a few chickens and a stoned neighbour... but all is not lost as Jimmy manages to contact his dad via a radio (he's a truck driver) and blows the house up.
Cut to some random time later and the boy is in some kind of clinic, recovering from the vast injuries and psychological trauma he had gained from his run in with mum. Only for his dad to come in and tell him that his mum is pregnant (the boys, not the dads) and that the doctors have explained that none of it was the mum's fault as she was mentally ill, so he wants the mum to come and live with them again as she's pregnant with another one of his children.
So not only does this film have some of the sickest imagery I've ever seen in a movie, but it also has the most ridiculous ending I've seen in a film for a long time.
I mean, in this weird bizarro world, if you've killed your children, a man, and several animals, it's quite likely that if it was caused by a mental illness that you'll be released back into society as long as you've got some medication.
At that point, I shouted "Bull shit" at the television due to my complete disbelief at the stupidity of the ending.
So, a sick movie with a pathetic ending, the only saving grace is the acting of the children in it, but I wouldn't expect to see them in anything else soon as they will need to spend the next forty years in therapy.
Do not see this movie, it's horrendous and upsetting.
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