Who'd have thunk it that a bit of snow could cause our country as a whole to grind to a halt? Well, I've heard from a reliable source, whose name I can't mention for security reasons (thanks by the way David Shrope for the info) that the snow wasn't an accident. That MI5 new it was on it's way, and they did nothing to prevent it!!!
It wasn't normal snow, it was a form of Nature-Terrorism. For years we've been after terrorists, people who blow us up because they disagree with what flavour cheese is the best in a ploughmans sandwhich (Cheddar by the way) but we've been neglecting the world's oldest terrorist... no not Helen Daniels from neighbours, she died eventually... someday I may tell you HOW I killed her... I mean, how she died of a natural, non-sword fight over a volcano related, death...
I refer to nature, the ol' bitch has been killing millions with her earthquakes, tornados, volcanoes, hail storms, tsunamis and blizzards of mass destruction.
I was summoned by the rugby burough council (due to my close ties with the military and due to the fact my mum works there) to discuss options to combat the terrorism. I concluded that Nature has gotten away with enough over these years, and it's time to strike back, so I showed them my plan to destroy nature, which involves burrowing a hole to the centre of the earth (where everybody knows that Nature and communism live) and launching a few nuke's at the heart of our planet...
The "scientists" said that that would be a very bad idea, and tried to get me out of the proceedings, but before they could, I was able to open up my powerpoint presentation, which thanks to the comical stick figure clipart guys, was able to convince everyone in the room that sending nuclear missiles to the centre of the Earth was the only logical option.
Operation : Death to us all begins in a few weeks.
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