Do you think your better half is getting fed up with “your version of cleaning” or the fact you always want the football when she wants to watch "Help, my house is falling down"? Then try one,some or all of the following:
#1 – Take her out for a meal in the most expensive restaurant you can find, then tell her that you can’t afford it. Just make sure to bring some trainers for her to aid in your escape
#2- Fake your own death. We have all thought about it for tax reasons, but if you fake your own death, then turn up years later, your partner will be so glad to see your not dead that it’ll be like having a second honeymoon.
#3- This one is a bit tricky, but sell your house and buy another one without her knowing. Let the first time she is aware of the move, be when she comes home one day to find another family in the house. The look on her face will be priceless, and then you’ll get brownie points for using some initiative!
#4- Build a bomb shelter in your back garden, then create a false news broadcast announcing the end of the world. Wake your partner up at silly o'clock and present her with the news that the world is over and take her to the safety of your bomb shelter. She'll be impressed with your forethought and it'll also help you convince her to have children if she has been adverse to it before hand as you have to repopulate the planet.
#5- Kidnap her from her workplace. Leave her in a cold dark room for a few days, then turn up as yourself and rescue her from the clutches of these imaginary kidnappers. You'll be a hero!
#6 – Borrow money off of the mafia and don’t pay it back. If you don’t pay it back, the mafia tends to get a bit angry, and you and your partner will have to flee for your lives, bringing you closer together and giving you a lasting memory before they finally catch up with you and bury you alive.
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