Friday, 15 May 2009

Aftermath 03 : Mary Poppins

Mary Poppins is one of the greatest childhood films ever made, according to the homless man who goes to my dentist, and I'm inclined to agree with him in some ways, however I wasn't taken in by the hollywood ending... I now reveal for you loyal readers, what actually happened after the credits rolled on Mary Poppins.

Mr Banks was fired from his job at the bank, due to his son not giving a tupence to the paedophillic bank owner Mr. Dawes. When asked for a statement, Mr. Banks simply said "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!" and a joke which caused Mr. Dawes to float to the ceiling with laughter. hmm...

His family worried about Mr Banks, tried to track him down, however when they did find him, he wasn't upset, infact he was happy... manically so... and suggested that they all go fly a kite. What the children and his wife didn't realise however was that Mr. Banks was using "let's go fly a kite" as a euphemism for killing his family then himself, but luckily Mr. Dawes Jr turned up and made Mr. Banks a partner at the bank due to his father's laughter based demise.

Mary Poppins then flew off into the distance, not to return again until Ghostbusters 2, where she comes down and steals baby Oscar in a pram for "Vigo!"

Mr. Banks isn't a partner for long however, as the coroner working on Mr. Dawes deducts that it wasn't laughter that killed him, it was the cyanide Mr. Dawes Jr. had been giving him. Mr. Dawes Jr is soon arrested and Mr. Banks is now fully in control of the bank. Due to his increased work load he reverts back to his old self in no time.

Jane and Michael, fed up of their father decide to go and find Bert as he may be able to help them find Mary Poppins... on their way they bump into a colorful character called Dodger. He tells them he can show them where Bert is, so takes them to see his boss, a nice gentlmen called Fagin. Fagin sells Jane to the underground Jewish sex trade and gets Michael hooked on Heroin, forcing him to pickpocket for him to get his next fix. Jane never see's her sixteenth birthday and Michael is eaten by a crocodile.

Mrs. Banks realises through her grief that she is infact a lesbian and falls in love with a lovely young woman. When she tells Mr. Banks she's leaving he is worried about a scandal and ends up in a heated discussion with her, well one thing leads to another and he kills her. Distraught he decides to leave everything and start a new life... which is where Bednobs and Broomsticks picks up.

What about Dick Van Dyke's irritatingly cockney character Bert? Well, he discovers the body of Mrs. Banks and is accused of her murder by a corrupt Judge, and is sent to Australia for a not so jolly holiday... years later however he comes back with a new name, Sweeny Todd.

Tuesday, 12 May 2009


To appease you till my next update, here's a short picture story.

All you have to do is right click on it, and open in new window to see it at a read-able size. If THAT doesn't work, right click and save, then open in paint :D