Monday, 22 December 2008

Ancient Greece

The boredom that is created from having worked through a weekened made me realise that Ancient Greece is linked to everything.

Here's what to do.

Type anything you like into wikipedia, then click on the first blue word or "link" as it's known to the non-lamen on the page and every page following. You will eventually end up on a page about Anceint Greece.

You may find yourself embroiled however in a loop, if this happens click the 2nd "link"

Eventurally all roads lead to Ancient Greece

Coincidence or tomfoolery? You decide.

Winter Wonderland

Hello everyone! :D

It's nearly christmas, as I'm sure you're aware. If you are not aware then I suggest you become aware and get down to some shops, spend more money than sense on things your friends and family don't need and then celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ by opening presents and worshipping Coca Cola's idol. I have something similar happen on all my birthdays.

If you do not celebrate christmas you are either dead or of a different religion, which is a shame, as christmas is fun if you get into it.

Now the real crux of this blog update, is confusion on my part. I've been listening to several xmas jingles to get my mind into the swing of things.

Winter Wonderland came on and I was joyfully listening, but then in my child like mind I had to re-listen to a verse:

In the meadow we can build a snowman
and pretend that he is Parson Brown
he'll say are you married we'll say no man
but you can do the job when you're around (or whilst in town)

Now for years I had presumed this was the singer being a bit of a slut. Saying that they wern't married but that they were open to offers, wink wink nudge nudge, a nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

I always thought that was an odd message for a christmas song, and thought maybe that song helped contribute to the decay of western society. However a very good friend of mine explained it to me saying that the Parson can get the (couple?) married, not that he could fill in for the bride/groom.

I also thought that "I'm ever woman" used to be "Climb every woman" and could never really understand what the hell that was on about. Then there's that song "what's she gonna look like with a chimney on her" which is what they actually sing, yet I am still none the wiser as to what it's about, maybe the titular woman will be filling in for santa this year? Hmm....

Well I hope you all have a very merry christmas, and I imagine that like me you will be rigging up your house "Home-Alone" style in an effort to capture the intruder known as Santa Claus.

Thursday, 11 December 2008

Woolworths - Pick or Mix?

Well history repeats itself, this time the high street Goliath Woolworths has been slain by the recession's chief stone thrower David in a game of twister that no one saw coming.

Well, I didn't see it coming. I'm sure financial people and woolie bosses saw it coming. But honestly I can't remember the last time I went in to woolworths to get anything that didn't contain sugar.

It's a shame, because it's like saying goodbye to a bit of my childhood, and not a part I wanted to say goodbye to like those abuse filled visits to my uncle Ed's basement... but I digress.

Xmas shoppers however rejoice at Woolie's death, as we can get some good bargains in time for christmas. So now all my friends and family who read this...well no one reads this really, but if they did, they'd have ruined the suprise of opening up a big present and finding it full of woolies pick and mix.

Who'se next though? WH Smiths? Boots? Anne Summers? The Lego Shop in the bullring!?!?

Personally I blame the Somalian Pirates, I think they've got something to do with all this.

Thursday, 4 December 2008

It not be long

I've now removed my stomach and replaced it with a glass box, so I'm feeling much better now, thanks for asking... wait, what do you mean you didn't ask? You don't care right, well screw you! Screw you in the ear!

Theres some crazy shit happening in the world at the moment, a Cholera outbreak, a civil war or 2, Pirates of the Somalia Carribbean, my stomach, and people being found guilty of kidnapping their own child just to get money. Seriously, it makes you wonder what's round the corner? The answer to this question is of course Christmas.

I heard "do they know it's christmas time at all?" on the radio today, and although I am with them on the whole charity front, the line about it never snowing in Africa always bugs me. So are they behind snow in Africa then, I mean they've got enough worries, now they want them to freeze to death? I mean it's one extreme to another, mixed messages. Sort it out. Besides, isn't there snow up Mt. Killymonjary? (Spelt as wrongly as I could)

I am a fan of Christmas songs, but some just make me shudder with disgust or disbelief. I mean, what the hell is "O Christmas Tree" about? So they're worshipping tree's instead of Jesus at Christmas now are they? Don't get me wrong, I'm not big on the bible, but I did see something in there about worshipping false Idols.

Well, I'm gonna head off now, the wolves are closing in...

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Adam Vs The Stomach of PAIN!

Somewhere in the past 48 hours, my stomach and I have fallen out.

It seems to want nothing more than to cause me an agonizing death, it keeps grumbling at me as it sends pain shooting through my body.

But I'm not going to let it defeat me, I shall have the last laugh, even if it means cutting it out and replacing it with a glass box.