Friday, 26 June 2009
Thursday, 25 June 2009
So, after the 300 car adverts before the movie, we finally got to the main feature, Polly questioned why all the films nowerdays had to be "revenge" of something or other, I told him that "Revenge of the fallen" makes a much cooler sounding title then "Tea Party of the fallen".
Although, that would be one movie I'd like to go see.
Now I warn you, here be spoilers! So if you want to see the movie spoiler free, please don't read on. Go away now.
Now she's gone, we can continue. I enjoyed the "mythos" they created in the first Transformers movie, with the Decepticons searching for Megatron as he was made out to be the big bad, however, forget that, now it seems that Megatron is just Darth Vader, and that the titular Fallen is Emperor Palpetine, even so much as calling Megatron his "disciple".
This isn't the only thing I found similar to Star Wars unfortunatley, as they introduced some new Transformers this time, with 2 in particular that I have dubbed "Car Car Binks" for being the most annoying, screen wasting, racist, offensive hunks of junk to ever grace the screen. The two Robots that start off as being an Ice-Cream truck, were supposed to be comic relief, and at some points they had their moments, however by the time the movie was in it's 3rd act, I was praying that something would kill them.
So in the first movie it was all about the All-Spark, the cube that created more transformers... well Decepticons for some reason, why Optimus Prime and the other Autobots are good if they were created from the All-Spark is a question left un-answered, unless I missed it in the first one. So the whole point for Megatron to be on Earth was the All-Spark right? Well, in this movie, they tell us, no. No he wasn't actually looking for the All Spark, he was looking for the Matrix which he could have easily found in his local HMV.
The Matrix, is a device that converts our sun into Energon (the lifeblood of the Transformers as Vinnie Jones points out to us at one point) and according to the new "mythos" The Fallen wants to turn this badboy on so that he can keep his race going. Now The Fallen, his name is in the title of the film, and Megatron and all the Decepticons are his bitch, so you're expecting him to be one mean mutha-fucker. Not so.
The Fallen, AKA The Pussy, is only really in the film for 4 scenes. He's introduced saying that only a Prime can kill him so he waits out the first part of the movie till Optimus Prime is dead (which we'll come to in a minute) then he's next seen climbing up a sinking Aircraft Carrier, then we don't see him for ages till he teleports out of nowhere and steals the Matrix and activates the sun eater thingy. And when he does finally get into combat, Optimus Prime not only kicks his ass, but he pretty much tea-bags the baffoon. So this guy is the main villain? Optimus Prime would have had more challenge fighting a parapalegic minature horse!!!
So, Opti dies. I predicted that as soon as the movie was announced, and the scene in which he dies is great. It's filmed really well and the action is brutal, and when he dies it's a great moment and mirrors the cartoon somewhat. But instead of passing the title of Prime onto someone else (probably because Bumblebee Prime sounds shit) the rest of the movie is dedicated to Sam trying to resurrect the big guy.
One point, I was in tears of laughter, but not due to anything the film meant to do. At one point, the American's are cut off in Egypt, and being attacked by shit loads of Decepticons. It looks like there's no hope for the hardened marines... until someone shouts out "Look, it's the Jordanian Army!!" then the action cuts to see 2 helicopters coming in, which last for ten seconds before being blown up. Seriously, THAT was the Jordanian army? Two fucking helicopters? I don't even remember them getting hit, I just think they blew up. Then when one of the helicopters is on the ground all smashed to shit, the crew get out A-team style, none of them are hurt, but to add insult to injury, the Sector 7 guy asks one of them "Do you have a radio?" to which the pilot looks at him gone out. As if he's never heard of a radio before and the Jordanian military are using tin cans and string to communicate.
One thing this movie EXCELLED at was the relationship between Starscream and Megatron. Starscream was always a snivelling bastard in the cartoon, wanting to rule the decepticons, or just save his own skin depending, and the moments with Megatron and Starscream really shone out.
I will say, although it does drag a bit in the 3rd act, it's a decent action movie, with a lot of adult language in it, which suprised me due to the appeal the movie will have to kids (children not goats). The Robots were clearly defined this time, meaning it was easier to follow them in the action scenes, the comic moments were plentiful (even when not meant to be) and apart from Car Car Binks, all the robots were great. I'd recommend this is you liked the first, Bay does tend to explode anything and everything he can but for the most part it works, just be prepared for a long movie and a weak ass villain.
Monday, 22 June 2009
Friday, 19 June 2009
First Post In June!!!
Sorry, I have been MEGA busy...
A lot of you have probably forgotten where we left off, so let me recap…
I took Polly, Royston, Braymachine, Milli and Pope to my legally purchased
The virus had a strange effect on Pope, she turned into a winged zombie pterodactyl kind of thing, and Braymachine turned into a hulking tank of a zombie. Polly went fruit bat crazy and has been living off the fruits of the jungle, slowly going mad, Milli hasn’t been much good because she’s Scottish and last time we saw her she was running away from some zombie hippos, and Royston, well Royston’s been a lucky bastard so far, managing to out run the zombies and keep his healthy complexion.
However my evil brother, Kristofus, has come to the island along with Alexis his right hand manservant. They managed to capture us AND Zombie Pope and Zombie Braymachine. Polly and I were put in a tent, whilst Alexis took
It seems my brother is intending to use the zombie virus™ to kill off 99% of the world's population and re-populate it with his "children", as he is gay, I don't know quite how he's going to achieve the "children" without some serious science coming into play... I'm not going to let him realise his grand plan and have seen the errors of my ways as I realise it was probably a bad idea to unleash a zombie virus™ on my unsuspecting friends. Hindsight is a marvellous thing…
So what happened next?... Stay tuned, I promise it wont be long to wait, and there will be a new story arc with some familiar faces and of course my usual randomness. Time permitting of course.