Jeff Tracy

I was round my parents house last night, enjoying a dinner prepared by the monkey chefs that reside in their basement 30 feet under the house, when my father Jedi Mind tricked my mother into handing him the remote.


After a few button presses he settled his eyes on the end of a Thunderbirds episode. Now I've already written my confusion as to why John Tracy is abandoned in space, with only his monitoring station to provide him with light entertainment to ward off the space madness that consumes us all when we're orbiting a planet.


But I think I've uncovered something a tad sinister, which the world governments I'm sure are unaware of.


In this episode of Thunderbirds, Thunderbird 1 was chasing a car with some criminals in it, a bit of an overkill you'd think, what with a large rocket ship chasing down two guys in a sports car?

But then something happened that shocked me to my core... Thunderbird one... began to shoot bullets at the car...


Since when did the Thunderbirds need a machine gun to help them rescue people? What possible use would the machine gun have for rescuing a cat from a tree?


Then I wondered, if Thunderbird 1 had these armaments... what about the other Thunderbird vessles?

The whole world trusts International Rescue, and that's exactly what Jeff Tracy wanted. When you think about it, Jeff Tracy is a perfect Bond villain. He ticks all the boxes.

He's got an island paradise for a home, with an underground lair, a chinese man servant, a space station, several different vehicles and he has the trust of the world. I bet that when Jeff does make his move, the world will not be able to retaliate for fear they will get killed by the large space laser that Brains attached to Thunderbird 5.

But then it's just a tv show, and maybe I'm thinking too much into it... or maybe you're not thinking enough. Be vigilant people, childrens tv series are peparing us for the future, along with computer games, movies and books... except for the bible, that's just crazy.

Are you prepared?

In this day and age, it's more likely to get blown up by a terrorist than say, be killed by a bear... but what if, in a bizarre twist, the terrorists decide to attack us... with bears!?

Sounds silly? Well a man once told me to expect the unexpected, I then spent 3 years in an insane asylum trying to figure out exactly how I was supposed to expect something that is unexpected, for if I expected the unexpected it would then be the expected, not the unexpected, and what I had expected to happen before would then become unexpected because I was expecting something else... the pills helped.

I believe the last thing that I think the "Government" is expecting are terrorist trained bears. I'm sure if you were to take a few pictures over afghanistan you'd see the Bear training camps, or maybe if you look on google maps and squint really hard over Iraq, you might see some.

Founder of the Scout Movement, Baden Powell, if that is his real name, told us to "be prepared", it remains a mystery as to what he wanted us to be prepared for, perhaps the Bears were what he was talking about? Well I like the cut of Powell's Jib. So, much to the protests of my long suffering lady friend, I have bear proofed our house.

To bear proof your house, you will need three things:
1 - a chair
2 - a tree
3 - a shotgun

Step 1 :
Put your chair in the tree, and sit in it with your shotgun

Step 2:
Wait for bears

Good luck! :D