Friday, 30 March 2012

TRIPLETS - And more Un-Needed Arnie Films!

After the news that there would be another Anchorman movie, I didn't think life could get any sweeter.

Sure, I do have some reservations as to weather the cast and crew of the sequel can equal or exceed the hilarity from the original, but it's something that people have been clamouring for and the studios know they'll make a shit load of money from the stars.

So this morning I find out that there's yet more sequel news!! Black Dynamite 2? No...

A sequel to the 1988 movie Twins. (HERE'S HOPING IT'S AN ELABORATE APRIL FOOLS JOKE!)

For those of you who are unaware of the movie, shame on you, this is the basic concept:

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny Devito were part of a genetic experiment to create the perfect child, they are actually brothers where Arnie got all the good genes and Devito got all the bad genes. Arnie finds Devito and Devito (who's a small time crook) uses Arnie's naivety to his benefit. They go on a road trip where Devito wants to sell an engine (illegally) to a guy call Beetroot. It all goes sour, Devito kills the baddies and the twins reconcile. They later get their girlfriends pregnant, both with twins and meet their long lost mother.

Ironically that is also the plot for the 1988 movie Twins.

Since Arnie has stepped off of his political throne, he's trying to get his steroid pumped acting  muscles flexed with a much requested follow up to a film people kind of remember.

So, it's Twins 2? No... No it isn't. It's called Triplets. AND, here's the best part. They have a long lost brother... played by? Eddie Murphy.

I loved Eddie Murphy in his 80's movies, then he did a Steve Martin and stopped being funny, or at least he stopped being funny for anyone over the age of seven.

My main issue however is with the revelation that they have a long lost brother, they kind of shit all over the first movie's logic. Surely, the scientist who revealed to Arnie that he had a long lost brother would have mentioned another brother? SURELY?

So what's next for Arnie, if he's trawling through his old movies, what delights can we expect? The Last Last Action Hero? 1st School Cop? Batman & Robin 2 : The Return of Mr. Freeze?

There's only one film he needs to make a sequel to. That movie?


If you are unaware of the film it's about Danny Devito getting Arnie pregnant. Arnie gives birth to the mutant and they all live happily ever after.

I want a Junior 2. I want to see what happens to that kid when he goes to school and meets other children, all of whom have mothers, with wombs! I want to see this kid grow up and take his girlfriend home to meet his "mother/father hybrid". I want to see the looks on the faces of the kid's parents-in-law when they also meet the monster that is Arnie's character. I want to see what kind of spawn that Junior would produce.

THAT my friends (and Studio people who are no doubt reading this), is a movie worth watching.

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