Stop whatever you are doing... well, actually don't as at the moment you are reading what I am writing, so if you stop that then you won't know what I'm about to tell you and it's rather important as you can probably guess from the Title of this blog entry.
I shall begin at the beginning, a very good place to start if "The Sound Of Music" is to be believed. My long suffering lady friend had bought a multi-pack of crisps, a seemingly ordinary thing to do, and I picked (at random as to not make the other crisps jealous) from the multi-pack, a packet of Space Raiders. Crisps, I've not had for some time.
I consumed the meager sized pouch of pickled onion flavoured alien shaped maize treats in a heart beat, and on finishing examined the packet to see how long I had left to live... and that's when I saw it...
A public service warning the size of two stamps on the back of the packet, informed me that there is an alien invasion commencing, and the only way to fight off these intruders is to crunch Space Raiders...
I couldn't believe it, there had been nothing on the news regarding the invasion and why would the government put such an important message on the back of a packet of alien shaped maize treats???
I called MI5 about this and they threatened me with legal action for taking up there valuable time, then it hit me. Why wasn't it on the news? Why don't we know about it?
The answer my friends is this: The Government are in on it.
Yes, the Goverment must have been infiltrated at the highest levels, and are dumbing down our knowledge of our impending enslavement!! Only the brave individuals at KP Snacks are warning us of potential devestation at the hands of some alien overlords!!
I urge each one of you to do the same as I have, construct a bomb shelter in your garden, buy every packet of Space Raiders from your local supermarket, and start crunching. My long suffering lady friend Lou wouldn't join me and Gerry Anderson in my alien/bear proof shelter, so I had to subdue her by knocking her out with some mini-cheddars.
If the Aliens destroy the planet I have to be able to re-populate the planet, and even though Gerry Anderson is up for it, I don't think he has the anatomy to house a child... maybe I should get onto Danny DeVito... He seemed to be able to do it to Arnie in JUNIOR... hmmm....