Monday, 22 June 2009

Zombie Survival... cont...

I awoke the next morning, with a stiff neck and had that great feeling of thinking everything was a dream, until I rolled over and saw Polly staring at me.

"I couldn't sleep" he told me as he stared at me with his hollow mad eyes, then he asked me what the plan was? I've never been a person to plan ANYTHING in advance, be that my weekly finances or a random story that I make up out of knowhere involving my friends and zombies for instance, so his guess at what our next step at that point was was as good as mine. We had intended to destroy all the zombies, but now we were faced with the task of escaping from my lunatic brother.
My priority however was Royston. I needed to make sure Royston was alright, as apart from me, he was the only "sane" person on the island as Polly was on a whole other level and Milli doesn't count as she's scottish.

As I was about to leave the tent, I was suprised by Alexis who leapt in. "Quick, there isn't much time." he said in a chinese accent "My name isn't really Alexis, it's Brad and I work for the American Government, I helped your friend Roy escape last night by playing pre-recorded Rape noises that the CIA has on file for these kind of situations" He took off our restraints and we left the tent, standing in the middle of the camp, he continued "Royston's waiting for you at a cave 20 minutes south of here. There you will get picked up by an extraction helicopter but first we need to..."
Kristofus, who had never really trusted Alexis had been listening in on the whole thing and a gunshot to the chest silenced Alexis, who's lifeless body slumped infront of Polly and myself. Looking up we saw the triumphant look of Kristofus's face. "I never did trust that guy, but that's what you get by advertising for help in the Friday Ad, do you know how many people said they'd work for me, but first I needed to send an advancement of their wages to Nigeria!? I mean, Nigeria? Do they even HAVE Friday Ad in Nigeria? I wasn't even aware they had computers, or running water, or a basic consept of the english language!"
He then moved over Alexis's corpse whilst keeping his gun trained on Polly and myself, more on Polly as my brother knows how much of a coward I am, and that I wouldn't try and jump him after what happened at Aunt Flora's Wedding Anniversary. "Well gentlemen, now I have Braymachine and Pope locked up, I shouldn't have any other uber-zombies to fight, which means it should be a quick jaunt to the laboratories where I can find the formula for the Zombie Virus (tm) and create my own perfect world with... Nooooooooo!"
The villains are always so busy gloating that they never realise the hero of the piece is managing to escape his bonds or reverse his fortune somehow. For example, in this case; Kristofus was soooo busy waffling on, that he didn't notice that Alexis's corpse had come back to life, he was only aware of this when it had bitten his leg.
Kristofus crushed Alexis's head under his boot, exclaiming "That LYING bastard!! He said that Pope hadn't bit him, why did I ever trust that..." I'm not sure what else he had said, as by that point I was out of ear shot, as both Polly and myself were running full pelt away from that lunatic. Bullets zoomed in our general direction, but I guess being bit by a zombie and realising you'll soon be un-dead, makes you a lousy shot.
It was apparant that Kristofus's plans wouldn't come to fruition now that he was going to turn into a zombie himself, so my thoughts went from worrying about my evil brother taking over the world with a zombie virus (tm) that I had created, to the CIA helicopter that would pick us up when we met Royston in 20 minutes.
Granted, I had no idea where Milli was, but to be fair, I'd been shot at, chased after, bitten and turned into a zombie, before coming back to some form of sembilence so my priorities were strictly on getting my white ass out of there. Thank god Alexis or Brad or whatever his name was, had arranged some kind of extraction off of this god forsaken (albeit my own doing) island!!
As we ran through the dense jungle my thoughts turned to everything that had happened whislt we had been here, and what I had done to my friends out of curiosity. I am going to hell, surely.

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