Friday, 2 January 2009

The Battle of The Bulge!

Britain's is like America's little cousin, Britain tries to emulate America to "look cool", but the rest of the world just looks at Britain and thinks "twat"

The War on Terror happened, and we jumped on the bandwagon to go kill whoever it was who was doing whatever it was to America. Now, I'm not agreeing with the terrorists, believe you me, at the end of the day September the 11th is one of the worst non-fictional things I've ever seen and my heart goes out to anyone who was effected by it.

Well by anyone I don't mean those people who try to jump on the band wagon to get sympathy to justify their exsistence, but people who were genuinely upset/outraged/lost somebody and the same with the London bombings.

(At this point my friend Flink would like to add that her 21st birthday was ruined by September the 11th, not by a plane crashing into her house tho, but you get the gyst...)

So we invaded whatever country homed the "masterminds" behind these attacks, and also happened to have some oil in, we got rid of Saddam in the process and are still in Afghanistan fighting the (good?) fight.

The thing is, the war on terror is something you'll never win. If you start a government with a certain set of ideals, you'll have someone else who disagree's with them and will do anything to enforce their belief and other people just want to see the world burn, to quote Alfred the butler.

Well now we have a new terrorist... it's called obesity, and it's attacking us when we EAT!!!

The war on obesity is the next thing America is fighting and obviously as we're America's dough eye cousin, we're on the magical mystery tour's band wagon.

So, the government has decreed we as a nation are fat and are blaming things like computer games. I'll have you know that I've played computer games since I was small and I'm not fat, infact I rarely do any excercise apart from walking. It's just that I have a high/low metabolism, I'm sure that me playing computer games doesn't help my heatlh but I live for the moment... very lasily I may add, I'll deal with the problem when I have to.

When I first heard of the war on obesity, I thought "how the hell are they going to fight this war?" Invade McDonalds? Bomb Burger King? Raise KFC to it's kentucky fried core? Nuke Pizza Hut? No... this is a PR mans war, and the british government decided to strike the first blow using... claymation....

Cus watching Morph is going to get you to put down a burger... EPIC FAIL!!

When will Britain realise that just because America's got a shiny bike and he's bigger than the other kids, it doesn't stop America from being a complete wanker. Why don't we stop spending thousands of pounds on advertising something the government doesn't really have any control over and use that money to help people out during the recession.

The only cereal the government should be worried about is "Credit Crunch"

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