Tuesday 1 February 2011

Half Arsed Review: Black Swan

Black Swan is a psychological thriller about an unhinged ballet dancer whose given the role of a lifetime, but begins to crack under the pressure of an over controlling mother, her overwhelming feelings for her tutor and the rivalry between her and her american rival who reminds me of Cher from The X Factor.

If that doesn't tickle your fancy, then why don't you go watch Step-Up 3D you retard.

I know what you're thinking, or at least I think I know what you're thinking from some guess work and after hacking your facebook account. You're probably thinking that Black Swan is a ballet film with mild horror elements, maybe you're thinking that it's a chick flick? Well it is one of those rare films that has something for both sexes.

There's the ballet and bitchiness for the women and horror and sexy bits for the men.

Let's go to the bit you're most interested in: The Sexy Bits!!

Well Natalie Portman's crotch gets groped more times than a hot girl at a nightclub in Coventry, and there's some "steamy" girl on girl and man on girl action. No boobage though guys, so if you want to see boobs you'll have to take off your shirt and look in the mirror.

The horror parts are pretty well done, there are moments that will make you jump and some visually disturbing moments. The mother character in this isn't quite as terrifying as Carrie's mum or Mrs. Ganesh from Drag Me To Hell or David Cameron being in power for a few more years, but she is damned creepy so gets some kudos for that.

The whole thing of course rests on Natalie Portman's shoulders. If she was awful, this would be a lame goose not a black swan. In my humble opinion, Natalie Portman is an actress who is either pretty dire or pretty good. Star Wars she was pretty dire, Black Swan however she does pretty good. So even if you're not a fan of her, I'd recommend this.

As with all my half arsed reviews I don't delve to deeply into any plot, and I don't wish to for fear of spoiling this really interesting film, but this film will keep you guessing right till the end. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm pretty good at guessing what's going to happen in a film, and most films are ruined for me due to their predictability, but this is one of those few films that I only figured out certain elements so ten points to them for that!

This film also has some great use of camerawork as obviously Natalie Portman is not an amazing ballet dancer, so when she's dancing you either see just her top half/bottom half or see her in a mirror where they've used a bit of the ol' movie magic, to make it look like it's her. This works well and didn't detract from the movie too much for my over analytical self.

I'd highly recommend going to see it  as it's a very taut psychological thriller and is worth the price of the highly extortionate admission fee of your local cinema.

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