Thursday, 22 March 2012

Half Arsed Review - Rubber

Being a glutton for bad movies, I decided to scour through Love Film's Xbox Live App, to find the worst possible movie to watch with my good friend Mr. Webb. (Who is also a connoisseur of bad movies)

As I flicked past all of the titles, I came upon one that sounded too bad to be true.

The film was called RUBBER, and had a picture of a rubber tyre with a stream of blood behind it. So I anxiously selected it and read the following blurb:

"Deep within the desolate landscape of the Californian desert a merciless killer roams the land looking for victims. With his terrifying psychic abilities he leaves a blood soaked trail of chaos and..."

Unless I'm doing it wrong, the love film player only ever has the first two sentences of a film synopsis. So you kind of hope that the first two lines will describe the film with good effect, for all I knew the rest of the synopsis could have said:

"With his terrifying psychic abilities he leaves a blood soaked trail of chaos and freshly pressed shirts. The Rubber Tyre is killed off by the police early on and the rest of the movie focuses on hardcore gay pornography and ends with a baby being murdered by a clown."

Luckily, that didn't happen.

So, my expectations were that I was about to watch a movie about a killer rubber tyre with psychic abilities. It would be a funny movie with over the top gore and plenty of stupid teenagers/law enforcement agents, that would be killed off. Just turn my brain off, and enjoy.

Luckily, that didn't happen.

Instead, I was treated to one of the most bizarre movies I have ever seen. (The happiness of the Katakuris being one of the weirder ones I've seen to date) From the offset you knew it'd be weird...

A desert highway, with an assortment of chairs dotted around it. A police car drives towards the camera and purposefully knocks over each and every chair before pulling up. The boot of the car opens and a Sheriff steps out, goes to the driver and takes a glass of water out. He then approaches the camera and addresses the audience with this speech.

"In the Stephen Spielberg movie E.T., why is the alien brown? No reason. In Love Story, why did the two characters fall madly in love with each other? No reason. In Oliver Stone’s JFK, why is the President suddenly assassinated by some stranger? No reason. In the excellent chainsaw massacre by Tobe Hooper, why don’t we ever see the characters go to the bathroom? Or wash their hands like people do in real life? Absolutely no reason. Worse, in The Pianist by Polanski, how come this guy has to hide and live like a bum when he plays the piano so well? Once again, the answer is no reason. I could go on for hours with more examples, the list is endless…all great films without exception contain an element of no reason. And you know why? Because life itself is full of no reason…the film you are about to see today is an homage to the no reason, that most powerful homage of style"

After this he pours his water on the floor, gets back into the boot of the car and is driven off. From this point, you are either hooked or know this is not a movie for you.

The Sheriff seemed to be actually talking to a group of people behind the camera who act as the "audience" throughout the film. At points, we watch them whilst they watch and describe action. It'd be a disservice to the film to reveal what happens in it, suffice to say this film is a journey to be had if you appreciate film as an art form. If you like films that seem to be trying to convey a message, or that are just filled with randomness for the sake of it, then this film is for you.

The tyre itself moves of it's own accord, you never see any strings and I'd love to know how they actually got it to move the way it moves. At points you empathise with the tyre, other points you are laughing, and then you're wondering what the hell is going on... to which you answer yourself "No Reason"

Do yourself a favour and check this film out, you'll either love it or hate it, but it's worth checking out either way.

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