Wednesday, 28 April 2010

Sick of Adverts

Last night I had a pretty grizzly time of it, being very sick and generally unwell.

So what better way to keep my stomach settled than to watch an episode of Heston’s Feasts where he gets people to eat blood? Usually my stomach is pretty okay with stuff on TV, but I did have a bit of trouble with this particular episode.

But it wasn’t the blood that really sickened me… it was the advert break sponsored by

For those who are unaware, is a “decision engine” from those soulless bastards at the Microsoft Corporation, so it’s basically Bill Gates’ version of Google.

This advert break started with a search, where an unseen person (most likely a corporate zombie) typed in a subject and then the following advert would be relative to that.

It kind of spoilt the fun of Advert breaks, as I knew what the next advert would be about. Granted, the adverts are never that different, you always know there’ll be an advert for a sale at a furniture store, or a supermarket’s “family” will be going through something that ends with them all enjoying a meal for under a tenner. But there was something almost sinister about the search engine looking up adverts.

Also, there was this whole spiel from Jamie Oliver about sausages and how one bite tells you what Sainsbury’s stands for. Really? Is that what they do to potential investors? They don’t have a presentation, they just give them a banger in the mouth and call it a day.

I’m sure that the recent party political broadcasts have been shorter than Jamie Oliver’s war and peace speech about Sainsburys. There was another advert he did in the same vein, but it was shorter this time and had him with a basket of new potatoes which I can only presume he scoffed after the shoot was done.

I just wish adverts would be adverts again. Cut out all the “meaning of life” crap and just tell you the deals they’ve got on or how much their product is. Car adverts are always the worst for these, but it seems that all adverts these days are either telling you about the values of life and how you can live a better life with their product or the advert is a soap that tells a story each time.

Well, be sure to write to your local MP about this, I know I will be.

Ciao for now, I gotta go before I vomit again. Man I'm sexy. :D

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