Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Rant time

It's been a hectic few days, I managed to bust Professor Katz and Simba from where they were being held, after a car chase I finally lost the pursuers.

Professor Katz however had no idea who was stealing time. So I returned him to his asylum, kicking and screaming.

I wonder if I will ever know who is behind this dasterdly time theft that is occuring. My good friend The Baron, suggested that the Swiss may be behind it, but I never trust a man who changes his underpants more than once a week...

On another note, I see that another British staple of advertising has been raped by "The Man".

I refer to, Mr Muscle. When I was a kid, I remember killing my siamese twin over some stickle bricks, but I also remember seeing a lot of television. One of the adverts I enjoyed was the Mr Muscle adverts, as my parents joked that I was Mr Muscle, being scrawny and wearing striped boxer shorts. However unlike Mr Muscle I don't love the jobs you hate... I hate all jobs. Well not all, but I wont digress into a filthy tone.

"The Man" not content with the scrawny Mr Muscle, have now replaced him... with a superhero.
What are his super powers? Unblocking drains? He must have been at the back of the line when they were handing out the powers at superhero school, or off sick.

Seriously what the hell is going on? Has that Large Hadron Collider sent the world crazy? Is black now white? I've said it before, but no one likes change. So stop changing everything.

Keep everything exactly the same forever... and that's the premise behind Purgatory I guess or maybe hell. The same thing forever.

I actually had a dream the other day (at least I hope it was a dream) where I had travelled back in time and was living in the 50's, and after a few days I had to go back to the 00's, but I didn't want to as I enjoyed the simplicity of the 50's. A world without worry... but then I guess I hadn't been there long enough to be afraid of constant nuclear destruction at the hands of the soviets, but that wouldn't concern me as I would have come from the future and known that they don't nuke anyone, but then again, if I can travel back so can other less scrupiless people, and what would stop them from using their "future knowledge" to establish a base of power and rival my "future knowledge" causing the cold war to become hot and ending the world in a nuclear holocaust!!!

And that's why time travel is a bad idea, unless you like genocide... and by genocide I don't mean a song by The Offspring, or a Dr. Who novel of the same name. I mean the destruction of an entire race by the hand of another. So if that's you, invest in a time machine, if you're sane, dont invest in a time machine.

Until next time... (which wont be long with all this time being stolen from us!)

Any ideas on where time is going, drop me a line.

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