Thanks to the wonders that be "Eon" I am still on an electric meter at home. That's right folks, it's like a pay as you go phone, but when you run out of credit on your phone you can't text, when you run out of credit on your electric meter... people die.
So last night, realising that the electric meter was on an all time low (It had been binge drinking and slept with his brothers girlfriend, you can't get much lower than that) I decided to set my mobile phone's alarum (Alarum sounds better than alarm any day)
After 3 hours of going through menu's, reading the instructions and scowering the internet (all the time worrying the electric would cut out) I managed to set the phone's alarum. Then I turned my attention to my actual alarum clock, which is hooked up to the mains.
Why have an alarum that's hooked upto the mains you may or may not ask? Well, the one before my curent alarum clock, woke you up to a cock-a-doodle-doo, but when the batteries wore down, the cock-a-doodle-doo sounded more like some kind of cat/chicken monster that was after your soul. It sounded like the last noise you'd ever hear before being eaten by something particulary nasty. I woke up many a morning petrified of the sound of it. In the end I sold it to Dreamworks film studios's sound department, to voice a monster in one of there future films.
My alarum clock was purchased about 5 years ago, it sends you to sleep with the sounds of the seas side, or the sound of being in a rural place with crickets going off, or the sounds of the rainforest (which always make me need the toilet, who'd have thunk it that the sound of running water would do that?)
So I upturned my lil buddy to see if you could put batteries in the bottom, and low and behold you can. So I opened up the little slot to see what kind of batteries you can put in... and I found something I least expected.... well no, it wasn't what I least expected, I mean I would have least expected to find a minature village of talking horses. What I did find though, was £15!
A ten pound note and a five pound note, scrunched up.
What... the... hell?
I've had that alarum for 5 years, and never once remember putting £15 in there! I didn't even know you could put batteries in it. So now my mind is in overdrive trying to figure out where the hell the money came from.
I mean I took the alarum with me when I stayed round friends houses, and when I went travelling around the world, but I doubt anyone would have stuffed there life savings in there. Maybe my alarum is a drop off point for the local drug dealers, one person puts in some drugs, the other picks up the drugs and puts the money in. Does that mean I have drug money? £15 worth of drug money? Will the cops be after me?
Well, then another thought entered my head, maybe I put the money in there. But I can't remember doing it, so maybe I've not done it yet... Maybe in the "future" I create a time machine and travel back in time to give myself £15.
But why would I go to all that trouble for a meager ammount... Unless there is something I need to spend the money on, a company I need to invest in, or a homeless person I need to give the money to, who will then clean up his act and find a cure for cancer. Maybe the £15 is what I need to start funding my time-travel research program?
If I don't make the right decision, I could doom us all!!!!