Tuesday, 7 September 2010

Half Arsed Review: Inception at the Imax!

Before watching Inception, I believed that Leonardo Di Caprio was a wishy washy (yes I just used that phrase) actor, with good looks, but that’s about it. I don’t quite know what I based this opinion on... maybe the fact that during my childhood all the girls pined over him and not me, had something to do with it?

Anyhoo, I went to the IMAX, for the first time, with my pal Polly. The screen was bigger than Clifford, alarmingly so, and I honestly thought I’d have a seizure if there were any flickering lights (like the lights over my desk as I type this) and the sound, to quote Jim Carrey “would make George Lucas cream in his pants”.

I’m sure this film looked amazing in a regular cinema, but the IMAX experience would shit on it from a great height. So... I should probably talk about Inception:

Before going to see this film, I was told by several people that it was complicated beyond recognition. In fact at one point in the film even one of the characters was confused! However, I don’t know if it’s my sci-fi addled brain, or the fact that I live 90% of my life in other people’s subconscious’s, but I was never lost at any point in the movie, and...Drum roll please, although there were some plot points I figured would happen, I didn’t predict the twists!

Yes, you read it here first. This movie kept me guessing, then, like a bully in a playground, it pulled my pants over my head and posted a video of it on Facebook. (I’ll get you yet Stuart McGreg!!)

(Read this in a Nazi voice) Zis review vill contain Ze Shpoilerz! You hasv Been Varned!

The plot is simple (not simples, as the Meer-cat’s would want you say, the bastards!) and involves Di Caprio’s Cobb (not a corn on the) and his 3rd Rock from the Sun buddy, being able to infiltrate people’s dreams and steal their secrets. Instead of using their powers for good, like learning what exactly they put in KFC, companies hire them to commit the ultimate form of industrial espionage.

It starts off with Cobb washing up on a beach, and getting discovered by some angry Japanese people, I had a similar experience at Bournemouth one year. Anyway, they bring him to a wizened old Asian guy. He seems to know Cobb, and spins a spinning top that they found on Cobb... then it rewinds to Cobb and 3Rd Rock trying to steal a secret from the same old wizened Asian guy, but now he’s a young Asian guy, called Hanzo (I don’t remember if that is his real name, but that’s what I’ll call him) but he gets wise to their treachery thanks to Cobb’s wife. (bitch)

Anyway, it soon turns out that they’re already in a dream, and they wake Hanzo up and threaten him in the “real world” which also turns out to be a dream. So it’s a dream within a dream, and they’re actually on a train.

They all go about their own way, and are later apprehended by Hanzo, who tells them he has a job for them, but this is different. Instead of stealing an idea, he wants them to plant an idea. That’s Inception baby. The film get’s 10 points, just for having the balls for saying the title of the film, within the film. I love it when that happens. I just wish that he’d looked at the camera and said “Inception” that would have been hilarious, but Nolan’s too good for that, bless his Cotton Joker Socks.

Well, Cobb accepts so he can see his kids, because for some reason the American’s don’t want him back (possibly because his dad is Michael Cain). Anyway, Cobb gets a team together, consisting of Juno, 3rd Rock, Indian Dude from Drag Me to Hell, Hanzo and a guy called Eames, who totally steals the show. All the actors in Inception are great, even 28 days Later Cillian Murphy, (or however you spell that silly name) but Eames honestly lights up the screen whenever he’s on it.

Fast forward past a tutorial into world building with Di Cobb, it also becomes clear that Cobb has a dark secret that could jeopardize the whole mission! And then a few montage’s later they’re going in for the Inception. They mission, to implant an idea in Murphy’s head to dissolve his father’s (Pete Postlethwaite’s) company when he inherits it.

Special mention goes to Pete’s nose in this, which took up 60% of the screen whenever he was on camera.

So, as Inception is especially hard, they have to make a dream, within a dream, within a dream! Sounds complicated, but the film eases you into it so as not to fry your puny human brain cells.

Upon entering Murphy’s head, they are set upon by his subconscious, and Hanzo is wounded. Usually, this wouldn’t be a problem as it’s just a dream... however; something Cobb didn’t think to mention was that if you die in the dream, you end up in Limbo. Not the fun Caribbean dancing game, but an endless world with collapsing buildings.

So, after some really cool stuff, that I can not reveal due to this only being a half arsed, and not a fully arsed, review, they have some great set pieces, you learn of Cobb’s dark secret, and before you know it you're back at the start (which is technically the end) and Hanzo is trapped in Limbo along with Cobb. They both realise where they are and Cobb convinces Hanzo to kill them both, thus waking them up from their dream..

The ending, was amazing. It left it open to interpretation, which is the best kind of ending in my opinion.
The lady in front of me, actually said “NO WAY” out loud. Now that would have brought a tear to Nolan’s eye I’m sure, that his work touched someone that deeply. The problem with that of course, is that Nolan’s tears are made of Unicorn blood, and as we all know, Unicorn blood didn’t do much for he who shall not be named. The dirty bastard...

SAITO! That’s his name, so forget everything I’ve said as if I can’t even remember his name, I obviously can’t be trusted with a half arsed review of something.

Ciao for Niao!

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