Monday, 13 September 2010

Liza & Huey's Pet Nation

Holy shit, I was watching drab television with my long suffering lady wife Louise and on came a program I try to avoid, but like a car crash, I can't help but watch, it is of course the lovely "Liza & Huey's Pet Nation"

It’s by far the worst television has to offer. The presenters are awful, Liza and Huey, with the guy being some weird metro-sexual Hispanic weirdo whose shirt was open pretty much down to his belly button and if he’d moved to his left, his nipple would have said hello. I later found out that he is the lead for The Fun Loving Criminals, which makes me cry inside.

Usually each week is filled with weird British people and their pet fetishes.

This week, was no different, when we were introduced to a Welshman (Careful), who was a farmer who lived with his wife and his sheep. No word of a lie, this man, let his massive sheep wonder through his house. I watched in awe as this couple sat on their flea-bitten sofa, laughing about how odd they were, when out of nowhere, the biggest sheep I’d ever seen, came in and knocked over a tin of custard creams off a table, and began gnawing on them. The people’s reaction? They smile and laugh to each other, probably about how eccentric they think they are, but really, we all know they're probably dying from a sheep related viral infection.

This is exactly how the Texas Chainsaw Massacre family started... by letting a sheep live with them. As I watched transfixed at how truly messed up this pair really were, I found myself wondering what the sheep did regarding it’s toilet habits... then the program answered my question, well the wife on the show did anyway. She smiled as she said “You can’t house train a sheep, he just goes where he wants”. I had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming this. After learning this fact I noticed that their carpet, looked like death.

If you get a chance to watch this abomination car crash television, I suggest you do. The hosts are awful, the “jokes” are followed by the sound of crickets and the whole thing stinks as bad as the sheep’s carpet does. I had to wonder if the producers intentionally made the show this bad? How else could you justify serving up this honking pile of dog turd to the public.

No comments: