Steven Spielburg and I have been looking at a project to do together since I declined having a part in his ill-advised attempt at Shindlers List 2 - The Jews Strike Back...
Over a cup of coffee and a bagel, he suggested that we make a film of my life! I thanked Steven, (or Susan as he likes to be called by his close friends and relatives) for his interest, and said I'd get back to him.
My life as a film, what genre would it be? I mean, at first I thought, gross out comedy. But then I realised I was selling myself short, so in the end I decided on a Surreal Musical Thriller, Sci-fi Horror, Romantic Comedy, Western War Movie, Drama Re-Make with english subtitles.
Susan was intrigued and asked me which actors we should cast.
Well for me, I think Jim Carrey is a no brainer however he's not english but depending on his audition we might get through it... a close contender is Rowan Atkinson for the part of me.
My group of friends were easier to cast, Royston = Vinnie Jones, Polly = Anthony Hopkins, Braymachine = John Goodman, Milli = the girl who plays cassie in sking and Pope = Dame Judy Dench.
That's when I found out that Susan was just going to produce the film, I asked who'd be directing it and she/he told me it would be George Lucas.
I ended negotiations at that point, I'm not having any medi-chlorines in my movie. Looks like I'll have to pitch it to Danny Boyle now...